Writing is hard

Today is a Sara day. A day where I have the apartment to myself, I don't get out of my pajamas and I finally get the chance to work on all of the things I need to work on. Today my goal was to start really writing again. I have no problem writing a blog entry, and I am an obsessive journaler, but to get out a story, especially because what I write about is my life, it's painful. Not just painful emotionally, but painful like trying to squeeze your ass into a pair of skinny jeans after they've just gone through the wash. I am literally forcing every word out onto the page. I know this is part of the process of writing, and most definitely part of the process of writing after not having written outside of conscious flow for a long time, but it is frustrating as hell. I just have to always remember how worth it it is, because the feeling of having a completed piece in front of you is one of the greatest feelings ever. I just have to force myself to keep doing it, no matter how much I think what's coming out onto the page is sucking, because whatever comes out is a raw place to start from. I'll find my voice, it's just going to take time.